Lawrence I. Miller CHT C.I.
What is an unwanted behavior? Does everyone have at least one unwanted behavior?
Unwanted behavior includes shyness, intimidationing, messy, perfectionist, procrastination, jealous, angry, smothering, and needy. There are hundreds of other unwanted behaviors and they all push people away and keep them at a distance from us. This is how they work: the shy person keeps themselves away from people so they do not have to feel the hurt feeling laying just below the shy unwanted behavior. The bully/intimidating person pushes people away so they do not have to feel the hurt feeling just lying below the surface. The same is true for the messy person, the procrastinator, the perfectionist, the jealous person, the angry person, the smothering person and the person who needs constant attention.
When we were children, when we emotionally got hurt, most likely by a parent, maybe a sibling or a teacher. Maybe your parents were critical about everything you did and criticized constantly. Or, maybe one of your parents tried to control every move you made or maybe the parent was abusive, either mentally or physically, but in any case, the parent would say or do things that hurt you. Things that was extremely painful. Because of the hurt the subconscious mind programs in an unwanted behavior, such as shyness, that protected you from getting hurt in the future.
The shyness - an unwanted behavior - keeps a child out of the limelight, and as a result, the child gets hurt less because the shyness protected them.
The problem however, is once the unwanted behavior is programmed into the subconscious mind the child continues to be SHY for the rest of his/her life. The shy unwanted behavior that once protected them becomes a liability, keeping the person from being the best they can be as an adult. It is a road block on the highway of life.
The person cannot figure out why they are shy, their conscious mind keeps trying to figure it out but has no idea that the subconscious mind programmed the shy behavior when they were children. The conscious mind keeps trying to overcome the shy behavior but it cannot because under the behavior is a painful feeling the shyness is trying to protect the person from feeling again. The subconscious mind is still trying to protect the adult just like it was protecting a child from getting hurt. The adult is essentially, still the child.
It is the same situation with all unwanted behavior. The unwanted behavior is the device trying to protect the adult so they will not feel the painful feeling they experienced as a child. The subconscious mind does not live in our real world so it has no idea the unwanted behavior is pushing people away and keeping the adult from being the best they can be. The conscious mind does not have the power to ADD (overpower the subconscious mind because it deals in thoughts and the subconscious mind deals in feelings and feelings have all the power. Since the subconscious mind has all the power it will eventually) wear the conscious mind down as it tries to overcome the negative feeling, especially if they are painful feeling.
If you are aware of an unwanted behavior and you know it is keeping you from being the best you can be and you know you are pushing people away from you, my suggestion would be to try hypnosis.
I can help you get rid of both the painful feeling and the unwanted behavior. Although I'm located in the Ajna Health Spa in Temecula, California, I may be able to help you over the phone. My number is 951.961.9000.